Comma

by Caitlin Cook

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released April 1, 2015

Lyrics, music, & vocals by Caitlin Cook

Recorded, mixed, & mastered by Steve Gamble

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Caitlin Cook Oxford, UK

Caitlin Cook is a singer-songwriter of all subjects, serious & silly. She is currently based out of Brooklyn.

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Track Name: A Score To Settle
I'm running out of time, I'm running out on you
I'm running around this ghost town, but you're on the tip of my tongue
So, I run my mouth, my loud & foul mouth, but I won't speak your name
Oh no daddy, I've run over another man

I've got the world on my shoulders, it's starting to weigh me down
'Cause we are world's apart, & I'm in a world of my own now
I've got the world at my feet, I've got open windows, I've got open doors
I've got the world in my hands, & I can't let it go just to hold on to yours

Am I settling in or settling for something?
I never saw myself settling down down down down
Guess I got a score to settle, or I gotta floor the pedal & go
Even though the dust will never settle down down down

Can I take time? Time isn't ours to take
It's a hard miss, but make no mistake
I'll try to take time, try to take this moment, put it in my pocket, & save it for later
But it's daylight savings time, & I'm always an hour off

I'm off & on, I'm more or less, I'm inside out
You turned me that way, you turned me, it was a inside job
Let's turn back time, let's turn back the clock, let's turn the tables
Let's turn over a new leaf, & maybe this time, baby, I won't leave

Am I settling in or settling for something?
I never saw myself settling down down down down
Guess I got a score to settle or I gotta floor the pedal & go
Even though the dust will never settle down down down

Am I settling in or settling for something?
I never saw myself settling down down down down
Guess I got a score to settle or I gotta floor the pedal & go
Even though the dust will never settle down down down
Track Name: Signs Of A Douchebag
If he wears sunglasses at night
& he talks like he's hood, but he's white
Like he thinks he's thug enough to drop the n-word
But the only thing he really dropped was college & moved back suburbs
& back in with his parents

If he then goes to Europe on his daddy's dime
But gets hammered at the Hard Rock Cafe the whole time
& constantly brags about the bitches he's fucked
& calls it getting his nut off or getting his dick wet or sucked
Well, it's really quite apparent

That's a red, red flag
That's a sign of a douchebag
That's your wake up call
He's not for you at all
That's a sign, that's a sign, that's a sign of a douchebag

If he yells "Jägerbombs!" when drinking
& starts a conversation by winking
& tells you he's in finance before he tells you his name
It's Chad (you didn't ask), but he'll tell you his salary all the same
He'll even show you a bank note

If, despite all his bragging about his bank account
He still tips the waitress a pathetic amount
Unless she's slamming; he only dates eights or higher
Yes, him in his Sperrys, salmon shorts, & nautical-themed attire
Though he's never sailed a boat

That's a red, red flag
That's a sign of a douchebag
If he's a pick-up-liner
Doesn't care if you're a minor, well
That's a sign, that's a sign, that's a sign of a douchebag

If he's emotionally dependent on college football
He knows the schedule, but heart but he still can't recall
Your birthday, how can you brush that aside?
He won't say I love you because he's too busy yelling, "Roll tide!"
(He didn't even go to Alabama, let alone college)

If he keeps the stickers on his flat-brimmed hats
& wears sleeveless shirts to show off his tribal tats
If he brags about how much he can lift at the gym
& thinks every gay guy he meets is totally trying to fuck him
Well, you've gotta acknowledge

That's a red, red flag
That's a sign of a douchebag
Could you get any dumber?
I mean, he drives a fucking hummer, &
That's a sign, that's a sign, that's a sign of a douchebag

If you find yourself offended by this little song
It's because you've been a douchebag yourself all along
The only thing douchier would be
Singing songs about douchebags on stage with a baritone ukulele

Yep, that's a red, red flag
That's a sign of a douchebag
That's your wake up call
& overall
That's a sign, that's a sign, that's a sign of a douchebag
Track Name: Plums (If You Can)
I had a dream about you last night
I often do these days, but this one was particularly grand
We were eating plums, floating down a river in a canoe through a city
& speaking in a language only we could understand

Hello there, in the crinkles of my eyes, in the creases on my pillow
Hello there, in the wrinkles on my clothes that I hang outside on the line to dry, kid
I'm not trying to forget you, but you won't let me get mine
You are painted on the insides of my eyelids

I too am trying to live alone
I too am trying to live without you
But every day is still about you
'Cause I live across the pond & beyond your arm span
So grow wings, love, & fly to me if you can

I'll meet you on an isthmus in Wisconsin for the weekend
I hear you can walk on water there; that's what they say
Remember that day in New Orleans? Getting caught in the summer storm
Seeking shelter under the striped awning of the corner cafe

I will build us a city underwater, our very own Atlantis
& we'll laugh bubbles & befriend the seahorses & sink to the ocean floor
I know how you love to swim
I will drink you in, I will drown in you, & wash up on the shore

I too am trying to live alone
I too am trying to live without you
But every day is still about you
'Cause I live across the pond & beyond your arm span
So grow gills, love, & swim to me if you can

To disrupt your day with love songs & lullabies
To turn you inside out, all over again, oh no my old friend
Now, that would be so selfish & so cruel
So I'll stay silent & play dress up & pretend

I too am trying to live alone
I too am trying to live without you
But every day is still about you
'Cause I live across the pond & beyond your arm span
So grow a pair, love, & follow me if you can
Track Name: Hey! Here's A Kazoo!
Maybe emojis are just us regressing back to hieroglyphics
The entire human race is all a bunch of homos if we're speaking scientifically
& being attracted to your own flaccid penis would be the worst fetish ever
& whenever a pregnant woman swims, she's a human submarine
Know what I mean?

If you call someone a two dollar whore, it's meaner than before because of inflation
& if gluttony's a sin, then why is the Bible belt the fattest part of the American nation
& if you'd never seen a chicken, & you ordered chicken fingers, you'd think that chickens were big & scary
& if Mary had Jesus, & Jesus is the lamb of God, then Mary had a little lamb
You understand?

Hands are naked sock puppets, coffee is bean soup, bunk beds are people shelves
& someone should open an abortion clinic & call it Don't Kid Yourselves
& someone should start a liquor company & call it Responsibly
& a group of squid should be called a squad & bisexual women should be called more of lesbians
Does that make sense?

It's pretty weird that we can unintentionally make a person but not dessert
& it's pretty weird that people will eat each others' assholes but not eat food that fell in the dirt
& it's pretty weird that people have birthday sex, which is basically having sex to celebrate their parents having sex
I guess people are just plain weird, I mean we invented selfie sticks & snuggies, & hey! Here's a kazoo!