If I was pettier
I would fire back more often at the stupid shit you say
If I was pettier
I would go and change all your passwords to the streaming services that I always paid
If I was pettier
I would convince you to get matching tattoos, you'd go first, and I'd walk away
But then I'd be a petty bitch
And you'd still be ruining yet another damn day

So I'll stay on my high, high horse
(I won't tell your mother)
My high, high horse
(I won't sleep with your brother)
My high, high horse
(While I might sleep with your brother)
(But probably not)

If I was pettier
I would upload that recording of you snoring so the world could suffer with me
If I was pettier
I might even put it on this album as a bonus track and keep all the royalties
If I was pettier
I would leave your name and your number for the Church of Scientology
But then I'd be a petty bitch
And you'd still be living in my mind rent free

So I'll stay on my high, high horse
(I won't tell your dad)
My high, high horse
(Tell him he's the best I ever had)
My high, high horse
(Twice)

My momma always told me to never stoop so low
But if I take the high road then no one ever know
About the gaslighting, duplicity, the scheming, and toxicity
But I'm not a petty person, so...

So I'll stay on my high, high horse
(I won't tell your boss)
My high, high horse
(Tell him that you've been embezzling)
My high, high horse
I won't write a song about you
And all the petty shit I won't do
'Cause I'm on my high horse